Truly, Madly, Deeply
by Elephantastiic
Summary: It's been two years.
1. Two Years

**Author's Note: This is my first crossover on fanfiction, hopefully it'll go well! C:**

**This takes place during the Grey's Anatomy episode "Song Beneath the Song". **

**Two Years**

* * *

><p>Helpless.<p>

She looks helpless.

She doesn't look like the Callie he works with. The one he got to know over so many years, in more ways than just one. Her body looks frail, the cuts scar her skin, and the tube down her throat supports her ability to live.

His friends, the surgeons, are frantically trying to keep her alive.

The baby, too.

He can't help. He's not allowed. The only things he can do are watch behind the thick glass from above and pray.

Pray every minute of every hour.

His eyes are brimmed with tears. He's thankful he's alone so no one can see him like this.

It's been about four hours since the accident and she's still on that operating table. She's still unconscious. She's still helpless.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you don't want to go, Elliot? I can book a flight for you later today or tomorrow," Olivia asks as she stuffs clothes and toiletries into a large tote bag.<p>

"Yeah, catch your flight. Send my prayers," Elliot replies. He escorts her out of her building and into the waiting cab.

The cab ride is long and the flight is longer. The only things Olivia can do are stare out the window and try not to think the worst. Two years apart and Olivia and Callie have maintained their close friendship. When they first met, Olivia was working on a case that took place on a plane from New York to Seattle. It was committed in New York and she spent days in the Seattle airport looking for evidence. A good amount of her time was spent with the victim at Seattle Grace Hospital, which is how they met. They all became close. It seemed almost impossible to not be friends with her and her partner. She was closest with Callie and Addison.

The three of them would go out when they could or hang around the hospital when they had the chance. Olivia even stayed a few days after the case was closed. She's never had friends like this – other than Elliot.

During that time, she met Mark Sloan.

Olivia sighs; she forgot that she would see him again. Why wouldn't she? Mark and Callie are just as close as Olivia and Callie got, if not closer. Olivia runs her fingers through her hair. Right now, she just wants to focus on Callie; one of her best friends.

The plane lands and Olivia is sure to be one of the first ones off. With nothing but her tote, she rushes to the nearest waiting cab. As soon as the cab takes off, her phone rings.

"Olivia," the voice is shaky. She's been crying.

"I'm almost there, sweetie. Just…just hang on."

* * *

><p>Arizona hangs up her phone. She just took a turn for the worst by getting into an argument with Mark. He called her nothing; a nobody. Not even a mother. He's right. She <em>is <em>nothing. It was his sperm that created the baby. He's the father. Callie's the mother. She's just the partner.

She needs Olivia here. Callie would need Olivia here. Things got a little better when she found out Olivia was able to drop in.

She stares down at the operation and feels the new mass of tears fall. She just wants to be there, holding Callie's hand and reassuring her everything will be okay.

She can't. She's not allowed. The only things she can do are watch behind the thick glass from above and pray.

Thirty minutes pass and she hears the approaching footsteps. She looks over to see Olivia standing only a few feet away from her.

* * *

><p>"Your boss is okay with you coming here?" Arizona sniffles and sips from her bottle of water.<p>

Olivia sits next to her, rubbing her shoulder for comfort, "Don't worry about that. You don't need anything else to worry about."

"How about your partner? Is he here too?"

"No, he needed to stay. He'll be praying for everybody, though."

"Callie will be so happy to see you when she wakes up."

Olivia smiles warmly.

Arizona looks down and her shoulders begin to shake, "It's all my fault," she sobs, "I wasn't looking…if I hadn't asked her at that moment, she would be okay. I wouldn't have hit the truck."

"Asked her what?" Olivia asks.

"To marry me," Arizona looks up at her with sad eyes.

She doesn't say anything; she only continues to console her. Olivia has never been good when it comes to marriage. She's only been proposed to once and that was many years ago.

"The answer will be yes," she tells her, trying her best to help.

"Um," she wipes the tears from her cheeks, "Did you see Mark yet? Does he know you're here?"

"Uh, no, he doesn't. I didn't tell him. You're the only one who knows," Olivia looks down, "I don't want me being here to be a big deal. I'm just going to stay long enough to see Callie."

Although she wants everybody to know Olivia is here, she doesn't feel like arguing about anything anymore.

"Hopefully they'll be done soon. Maybe you'll change your mind," Arizona tries to smile confidently but it turns out as a lopsided, broken, smile.

Olivia rests her hand on top of Arizona's, gently, and smiles back at her.

She takes a final sip from her water and stares at the empty bottle.

"Come on, let's go get another one," Olivia suggests and stands.

"I'll stay. Just incase there's any news about Callie," Arizona replies.

Olivia smiles and walks out. She looks around for any nearby vending machine; it's hard since she's not in this hospital everyday like all the doctors are. She walks into an observation room with a large window in front of her. She peers into the window and sees the procedure. She stops and looks at everybody's hands frantically working on Callie. The scars, the blood, the bruises, it's all there. Olivia is so concentrated on the victim, she fails to notice the pairs of eyes focused on her. After she gets an eyeful, she leaves in a hurry. The dismal feeling she felt circulating throughout the hospital when she arrived suddenly catches up to her.

She doesn't know why she wants to cry. She doesn't know why she wishes she were in Callie's position so her friend would be okay. She doesn't know why this very sight brings back the memories she and Callie had two years ago.

Finally, she finds the brightly colored machine and inserts the dollar. Her hands are shaking. She presses the button for water and tries to compose herself while she waits for the bottle. Her head rests on her forearm that supports itself against the machine. She closes her eyes and breathes while a few tears escape.

"Excuse me, are you okay?"

Olivia feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around and looks into a pair of all too familiar pair of eyes that are equally as red and puffy.


	2. Surface

**Chapter Two: Surface**

He looks into the brown eyes of the brunette bombshell he quickly became close with two years ago.

She looks so…different.

Her hair was short when he first met her. It didn't even go beyond her ears. Now it's long, like waves of brown silk. Her bangs still sexily swoop over her eye. He's always liked that.

He's always liked her. Ever since she declined his offer for a date.

"Olivia!" It comes out in a loud whisper.

"Mark," she exhales and brushes the tears off her cheek, "It's been a while."

Is this really happening?

"What are you doing here? How'd you find out?" He questions.

She leans back against the machine, "Arizona called me. As soon as I got the message, I took the first flight I could get."

Has this really been going on for approximately six hours?

He wants to keep his mind on Callie. Most of it still is but a part of it is meandering away to Olivia.

"You…you look good," he can't help but let it out.

It's true. She does.

He notices her lips tug into a small smile but she doesn't say anything.

She glances at him and smiles a little more. She's missed him. She's missed his quirky personality and his proud smile. She doesn't want to admit it, though. Last time she was in Seattle, they made each other's lives hell. The constant tension and the many refusals for a simple date. She didn't want to make a mistake by sleeping with him.

She wasn't going to make that mistake again.

She takes a good look at him this time; he looks different. He looks a little more vulnerable. His eyes are red and puffy and the only thing he has to keep his macho appearance is his strong stance and his crossed arms.

She's staring.

He's staring.

"Di-Did you want to-" Olivia grabs the water out of the machine and steps out of his way.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Mark takes her place.

If he declined her offer, it'd only look like he came to the vending machine just to see her.

Awkward, much?

"Where's your partner?" Mark asks while he makes his selection. He tries to appear like he doesn't care but deep down he cares more than he really wants to.

"Back in New York. He couldn't make it this time but he sends his regards," Olivia responds.

He'd scoff if this wasn't such a tense situation already.

If anything, Mark is happy that Elliot stayed. He'll never tell Olivia that. He knows she's close with her partner. He had an underlying fear that they're romantic but it helped when she informed him that he's married with five kids. Last time they were here, Elliot would constantly deter Mark's constant flirting with Olivia even though Olivia assured him she could handle it herself.

He still has that fear.

"Um," Olivia circles her finger around the top of the bottle, "What happened exactly?"

He looks at her. Is she asking what happened to _them_? Or something else?

"To Callie," she confirms.

Oh.

"She flew through the windshield when they hit a truck. They're trying to operate without hurting the baby."

She's wide-eyed at this point, "Baby? What baby?"

She never knew. Nobody told her.

"Callie's baby. My baby," he mutters the last part but it's still audible.

He did say a few things in that argument with Arizona that he didn't even mean. If the baby doesn't make it, he doesn't want to just screw Callie again and expect everything to be back in line. This baby is already a part of him. He feels like he's created a family for his friend and something like that can't be renewed like an art project gone wrong.

Olivia didn't notice the huge bump where Callie's stomach was supposed to be when she was observing the procedure. She feels her stomach drop a little when she hears the second part of Mark's answer. _His _baby. Not some sperm donor's baby, Mark Sloan's child. She didn't even know they were sleeping together. Did Arizona take it well?

She can't express her disappointment, shock, and a bit of jealousy. She has to hide it. All she can do is smile.

"Arizona is probably wondering where I am," she says in an almost whisper. She gently rests her hand on his shoulder and half-smiles, "Nice catching up."

"Wait," Mark quickly grabs her hand when it slides off of his shoulder, "How long are you staying?"

Her eyes tear away from his down to her hand enclosed in his warm one. He quickly releases.

She wasn't complaining or anything.

Her mind flashes back to Callie while he waits for an answer.

She was tossed through the windshield.

"I don't know. I didn't give my trip that much thought," she slides her free hand into her pocket.

"Where are you staying?"

She is pregnant.

Olivia's going to have to stay for a while. She doesn't know why she's beginning to get irritated.

"I'm not sure, Mark. I really don't know. It's not like I sat down and preplanned all these little details. I was going to look for a cheap motel or something," her voice breaks. The frustration blends in with her words and the tears come simultaneously.

Now he feels bad. It hasn't even been an hour and he's already made her cry.

Great job.

Her hand shields her mouth while she tries to calm herself. He rubs her shoulder to try and help her calm down a little.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know this is hard," he begins.

She nods.

His arm shifts a little to pull her into a hug. He refrains.

"Stay with me until you decide to leave. So when you do make up your mind, you don't have to pay more than you want. You don't even have to pay anything."

She looks at him and chuckles.

He's taken aback. That wasn't a joke.

Olivia wipes a few tears off of her cheek. They seem to have traced the same path that the old ones left, "I don't think that's such a good idea, Mark."

"Why? I'm helping you save money," he protests. He might as well keep it up – he's making her smile. That's a start, right?

"Thanks for the offer but I'll find a place in the area."

He's not _that _far from the hospital.

The chill in her palm reminds her that Arizona is still waiting for her water.

With one last simple smile, Olivia makes her way back to Arizona.

Mark watches her walk down the hall and turn the corner, out of his sight.

He's always liked her. She's possibly the only woman that could make rejection so damn sexy.

He's always liked that.


	3. His Way

**Chapter Three: His Way**

Arizona cups both of her hands around Callie's, ignoring the needles and wires that are connected to her skin. She's going to be okay and she's going to marry her. Nothing could be any better than this.

"Callie, someone special came here to see you!" Arizona says excitedly, realizing they're not the only ones there. She stands and looks outside for Olivia.

* * *

><p>"So you're booked completely?" Olivia asks into her phone as she paces back and forth.<p>

With his arms crossed, Mark watches her in total amusement.

"Oh, no, I can't afford that tonight. Is that all you have?" She leans against the wall and runs her fingers through her hair, "Alright. Thank you." She ends the call and begins to search for other hotels.

"You know, I have a vacant room for an amazing price of nothing," Mark tells her.

She doesn't respond but he knows she hears him. The smirk on her face gives it away.

"Olivia, come see Callie!" Arizona says in an excited whisper. Olivia puts her phone away, takes one glance at Mark and enters the room.

He immediately follows.

The mood has lightened up since the news about Callie although there is still a heavy feeling of worry for her baby. Yes, they found a heartbeat but that might not be enough.

"Olivia, you," she swallows, "You didn't have to come."

"I wanted to." Olivia takes the open seat next to Callie's bed and takes her hand.

"How long?"

"I don't know yet. It depends where I stay."

"Where are you staying?" Arizona intervenes.

"Uh, I don't know that either," she smiles warmly, "But I'll figure it all out, don't worry."

"You know," comes the only masculine voice in the room.

Olivia closes her eyes with hopes that he doesn't say what she fears the most right now.

"I have a room at my place and I don't know why she won't take it."

Olivia opens her eyes and exhales, not wanting to argue in front of Callie but the urge to disagree with Mark is strong right now.

"Sometimes it's just good to be alone, Mark," Olivia says as calmly as she can.

"Liv," Callie speaks up before the argument can grow, "He's not that bad. Save your money for when we go out," she smiles a bright smile.

Olivia can't say no, "Fine," she sighs. She smiles for Callie but doesn't look back at Mark. She already knows he's smiling like the arrogant jackass he is.

* * *

><p>"Hey, who's that?" Lexie asks. She watches Olivia and Mark in Callie's room. She pretends to be more interested in the surprise guest rather than the fact that Mark is rather close to her.<p>

Not that she's jealous or anything.

Jackson's back is turned to the room window. Briefly, he looks over his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye. When he sees who it is, he turns around the rest of the way with a small chuckle.

"Well, would you look at that? Olivia came to visit."

"What? Who's Olivia?" Lexie's voice begins to grow a little impatient and panicked.

"She's a New York police officer and one of Callie's best friends. She came here a few years ago and Mark tried hitting on her. She said she wasn't interested but it wasn't convincing." Jackson turns back around and studied his clipboard.

Lexie doesn't dismiss this.

"What do you mean?" She continues to prod.

"She liked him and I'm pretty sure he was into her. They always fought but he would continue to ask her out for a drink."

"Oh."

Lexie stares a little more. Was this before or after Mark asked her to move in with him? She crosses her arms tightly across her chest and watches Olivia and Mark team up to keep Callie positive. _Don't be silly, Lexie. She's just a friend,_ She reassures herself. She wants to believe it one hundred percent but, somehow, she's having a very hard time doing that.

* * *

><p>"See, that wasn't so bad," Mark tells Olivia as they go up to Mark's apartment.<p>

She doesn't say anything at all. A small scoff is the only sound as she adjusts her duffle so that it hangs comfortably on her shoulder.

"I don't see why you were so hesitant to take a free place to stay. Plus it's close to the hospital so you won't be far from Callie."

"Mark," she exhales, "You know exactly why. I just want to make things go smoothly. We can't fight - not again."

They wouldn't be on that level if she just agreed to go out with him.

Mark unlocks his door and lets Olivia in first. She'll admit it - she's impressed. The apartment reflects his wealth to a great advantage and it brings a nice comfort to her.

She stops admiring and looks at him so he can show her where she'll be staying.

He walks toward one of the doors and opens it, exposing her to a large bedroom that looks way too comfortable to be a guest bedroom.

"Mark." She says his name like a stern parent, getting ready to expose a little kid for lying, "Is this your room?" She asks, irritation growing in her voice.

He simply looks at her.

"I can't believe you," she snarls and finds the couch.

Time for plan B.

"Olivia I was going sleep there while you slept here," he steps in front of her to stop her. Albeit, it wasn't true but it was worth a shot. He could always try to climb in bed with her when they become closer but it'll be hard if she's on the couch.

"I'm fine on the couch," Olivia smiles and sets her bag down.

There's a lingering silence once she takes her seat and looks out of the window.

The view from the couch is incredible, especially at this time of night. Olivia gazes out of the window, so involved in the view that she doesn't notice occupy the seat behind her. He watches her brown eyes dart from one building to another. The dim lighting in the apartment brings out the building lights reflecting in her eyes. She looks relaxed, like nothing is wrong and everything is at peace.

"You sure you're okay here?" Mark asks. His voice is sincere. She flinches when he speaks up and a good portion of her calmness is gone but some of it returns when she notices he actually cares.

So far, so good.

"Yeah," Olivia replies and situates herself differently in her seat.

Maybe it only takes a beautiful view to settle her down.

"Well, everything tuned out great with Callie. How about we celebrate with a glass of wine?" Mark suggests and browses through his selection of wines, looking for the perfect one for Olivia.

She doesn't reply right away. He glances over at her, seeing the consideration in her eyes. Today's stresses do call for a nice glass of alcohol but she doesn't want to become so vulnerable just because Mark got his way. The smile on his face and the two glasses in his hands tempt her.

"No, I should get ready for bed," Olivia says coldly and grabs a few things from her bag. She disappears into the bathroom.

A loud sigh leaves Mark as he returns the wine. He retreats to his own bedroom, alone.

This is _not _how he planned the night.


	4. The Little Things

**Chapter Four: The Little Things**

"One week, one pound, and one ounce" reads the tag on little Sofia's incubator.

Olivia's usually the last to see Callie's daughter, not that she's complaining. After things settled down with Callie, Olivia told herself she would let the daily crowd die down before she helped herself to some one on one time with the baby. Although she didn't even know Callie was pregnant before she arrived, she still felt close to the little girl.

"Hi." she mouths to the slowly moving child. Even though Sofia is painfully small, nobody left the room without a smile.

She studies Sofia. She notices how small her limbs are and how weak and fragile she is. A twinge of sadness hits Olivia. She's feeling for her.

"It's going to be okay," she whispers. She repeats herself once more until someone clears his throat and disturbs her privacy.

He watches her with calm eyes. He admires the way she instantly helped out as soon as she stepped in. He studies the way she is so easily attracted to children, much like everybody else here, and how well she treats them. She could be doing a million things instead of showing love to a child that she doesn't even know but she chooses to do it anyway.

He likes that.

She turns around to see Mark with his phone in his hand, "I need to take a video for Callie," he tells her and shakes his phone a little as if to prove it to her.

"Good morning!" Mark struts in Callie's room with Olivia at his side, "Baby report."

She leans against the doorway while she watches Mark show Callie the video. She focuses on his eagerness when telling her the good news. Her lips pull into a tiny smile. Then she notices the sadness is Callie's eyes as she watches the video. It's blended in with the intense interest and yearning for her baby. It's clear she's not sad about the baby's condition but the fact she can't see her baby. This video is the closest she can be to Sofia right now.

"How are you?" Mark asks Callie.

The way he asks sends a comforting warmth up Olivia's spine. His question is enveloped within a sigh but full of compassion and geniality. The way his voice sounded makes Olivia want to hear it over and over again. It seems to be the little things about him that attract her to him.

Callie proceeds to tell him about her progress.

He congratulates her, in the same soft tone. Olivia's already half-smile grows into a full one. She's lucky it's at the appropriate time – Callie's news is a great reason to be smiling. He turns to leave but stops at Olivia.

"Are you staying all day or are you going home before me?" He asks.

The way he refers his own house as just a simple "home" makes Olivia feel more at ease with staying with him.

It's the little things.

Olivia straightens up and tucks her hair behind her ear, "I'll stay until you're done."

"Well, I have a surgery in a little bit and it could be a few hours. So, just incase you change your mind." Mark hands her a small ring with keys, "That one is the one you'll want to use." He points to the shortest of the three keys.

Olivia thanks him and he continues out of the room, glancing at Olivia one more time before turning around the corner. She looks back at the appropriate time because they make eye contact right before he rushes off.

Callie and Cristina are both staring at her, interrogating her with their eyes. Olivia's smile vanishes and she shifts uneasily from one foot to another.

"So," Cristina begins once Miranda leaves. She turns to Olivia, "How are you holding up with Mark?"

Her voice is suggestive, like she wants something. She wants Olivia to gush about how fantastic it is to see Mark come out of the shower, only in a towel, every morning. How sexy he looks when he's hard at work on his computer before he goes to bed. That she's sad because she's only on his couch and not in his bed. With him. Although all these statements are true, Olivia keeps them to herself.

"Fine. He's being very generous," Olivia says. There's a slight dissatisfaction on Cristina's face because she didn't get the gossip she wanted.

"He's been a lot happier since you got here," Callie chimes in. Her voice is still somber but she continues, "He likes you, Liv."

"No," Olivia chuckles nervously, "No, it's you and it's the baby. I'm just staying on his couch."

"He didn't give you the bedroom?" Cristina asks, surprised.

"He offered but I didn't take it. It's fine." She really wants to drop the subject. Olivia's tempted to bring up Callie's baby just to get away from the topic of Mark but she doesn't want to upset her any more than she already is.

"Hey, I'm gonna get a cup of coffee and let you rest. I'll be back in a little bit." She half-heartedly smiles and exits the room.

* * *

><p>Olivia stares down into the swirl of brown liquid in her cup. She adds a little more sugar and continues to stir. She's concentrating more on her own thoughts than she is on her cup of coffee. The last time she left Seattle, she left angry, annoyed, and promised herself that she would never be vulnerable around Mark. She would never be persuaded like some of the other women were.<p>

So how did she end up staying in his apartment?

Olivia sighs and a small pain in her wrist reminds her that she's been stirring for far too long. She blinks back to reality and throws the wooden stirrer out.

"Olivia Benson," comes a voice from behind.

Olivia caps her cup and turns around. She's face to face with an old friend that she failed to say hi to when she first arrived.

"It would take us a week to finally say hello to each other!" Addison laughs while she hugs Olivia.

"I saw you running around the hospital a few times but I didn't want to bother you." Olivia releases her embrace from Addison, "You looked busy."

"Well, I'm free now." Addison takes Olivia's cup and sips from it, "How have you been? Word in the hospital is that you're housing with Mark Sloan while you're here."

Olivia scoffs.

"He's a good guy, Liv. He's always been but he's changed over time since you were last here."

She nods and stares ahead, "I'm sure."

"You still have a thing for him, don't you? That's why you're staying with him?" Addison asks with a quirked eyebrow.

Olivia scrunches up her face in disagreement and shakes her head, "I don't have a _thing _for him." Something about saying that makes her stomach twist in a knot.

"Ah," Addison replies, unconvinced.

It's like they're in high school.

"Are you sure?" She continues.

Before Olivia can answer with more denial, a beeping beats her to it. Addison looks to her hip and reads her pager.

"Shit," she hisses, "I've got to run but we'll grab drinks later." With that said, she rushes off.

Olivia nods and watches her disappear around the corner.

She's not sure and she hates it.


	5. Surprise

**Chapter Five: Surprise**

The day rolls on and each passing minute, he can't take his mind off of her. During his final surgery, he thinks about whether to make dinner for her or take her out. He expresses this while operating on a thirteen-year-old boy who fell out of a tree and broke almost every bone in his body.

"Doesn't she hate you?" Alex says, carelessly.

"If it's any of your business, Karev, she's just playing hard to get. Know the difference," Mark replies while he finishes up a few stitches.

Alex scoffs, "Right and I'm sure 'son of a bitch' is her pet name for you."

Mark only eyes him and finishes the last stitch.

"Done," he announces, "Unless there's anything else that requires my magic, I am going to go home."

Nobody objects.

"Perfect! Good night everybody." He discards everything and slides past the door before it fully opens. Once he's fully dressed, he stops by Callie's room before leaving for the night. She looks up from a magazine when he enters her room.

"Do you need anything before I go?"

"You're leaving? Already?" Callie asks when she sees him casually dressed, "No, I'm fine. Arizona is still here, anyway."

"Great. I will check on you tomorrow. I'm going to make dinner before Olivia leaves." He smiles excitedly, "Good night!"

Before she comes to a realization, he's already out of her sight.

"Mark, Olivia just-" She sighs and goes back to her magazine.

After a quick stop to the grocery store, Mark pushes past his apartment door and begins unloading the groceries. He doesn't take the time to remove his coat or set down his keys – the keys that are still in the door. He begins a boiling pot of water before he hears a door open.

She steps out.

He freezes and eyes her long legs, soaked body, and her full breasts peeking out from over the edge of the blue towel. She doesn't see him at first – she takes the first few steps out of the steamy bathroom while adjusting her towel.

He wishes on every star in the sky that she takes it off.

She spots him and a heavy blush stains her cheeks.

"Oh my God," he utters, "You're beautiful."

Olivia forces a smirk, covering her shock and embarrassment. She tries to appear calm as she saunters over to her suitcase. Her cheeks are on fire and her heart is racing but she can't let him know that. She knows his eyes are running up and down her half naked body. She'd be lying if she said it didn't excite her. She can't express humiliation, she just can't. Olivia tells herself to keep calm and pretend not to care.

He tries to give her privacy. He tries to focus on the halfway chopped vegetables in front of him. Mark looks down at the sliced zucchini but there's a burning temptation inside of him that keeps urging him to look up at the tantalizing woman who is strutting around in only a piece of cloth. Does she know how badly she's seducing him right now? Is this on purpose? He swallows while he watches her every move from when she bent over to pick up an article of clothing to her deciding what she should put on. Either she's seducing him on purpose or she's completely shameless.

Or maybe both.

"Mark." He blinks out of his daze and focuses on her face. She's smiling but her eyes are elsewhere, "Your water."

Mark whips around to see the water boiling over the edge of the pot. He rushes to it but not without seeing her smirk and then disappear into the bathroom.

She closes the door behind her and exhales deeply. Her heart continues to pound against her chest. She's never been this reserved when it came to being half naked in front of someone but this time, she's basically trembling. Is it because she was afraid that Mark would judge her? Or perhaps the overall shock of being caught in a towel startled her. What she also doesn't understand is why she was so particular in what she chose out - a blood red, v-neck, long sleeve shirt with a pair of dark jeans along with a matching lace bra and thong.

Is she hoping for something tonight?

A small sigh escapes Olivia while she dresses herself, dries her hair, and puts the towel away for the next time she'll need it.

The table has to be perfect. The food has to be perfect.

Everything has to be perfect.

Tonight, he is going to win her over. He's going to show her that he is not the man she first met. He is not going to mess this relationship up. So, he lights a candle and puts a rose in a small vase of water. He's meticulous with the table setting and the choice of music. When he realizes he has a few extra minutes left, he makes sure his bedroom is well kept and inviting.

Very inviting.

Just incase.

She steps out of the bathroom and faces a candlelit table with a carefully organized table setting accompanied by two glasses of red wine. She stands there, staring at the surprise. The delicious aroma of the meal he prepared surrounds her and the soft music relaxes her.

When Mark comes out of his bedroom, her back is turned to him. He can tell that her arms are crossed, he can tell that she's taking in what he's set up for her, but he can't tell if she's moved or not.

He takes a step closer to her. He just wants to wrap his arms around her and kiss her neck, while slowly pushing her shirt aside to kiss her shoulder. He wants to inhale her perfume and whisper words of affection in her ear in her ear. He wants to skip dinner altogether and just go to bed with her.

He can't because he's positive she doesn't feel that way.

Olivia turns around and looks at him. She's smiling.

She looks impressed.

So far, so good.

"You didn't have to," she says.

She doesn't want to look flattered. She doesn't want to express the warmth she's feeling right now but she does. There's something about all of this that makes her forget everything that went wrong. She forgets about Callie and the accident, the surgery, the ill child, and the whole reason why she's here. All of it vanishes.

"I know. Sit." Mark gestures towards the chair and begins to supply the plate with food.

* * *

><p>"A daughter! Really?" Olivia sips her wine.<p>

"Yeah," Mark replies and combines it with a chuckle, "Sloan."

Their plates are clear of the delicious meal Mark prepared. Their plates have been clear for the past hour. The bottle of wine is nearly empty and the candles are halfway through. The conversation has not stopped since they sat down.

"And a grandson. Wow," Olivia adds. He's smiling. His eyes are calm. For once in about an hour and a half, there's a lingering silence between the two - that silence between a couple that can be used for a kiss, or handholding, or a romantic embrace.

But they're not a couple so it's just a regular silence and none of that would be appropriate.

A regular, boring, silence.

But it feels like so much more than that.

"What?" Olivia breathes when she realizes he's returning the stare she's giving him.

He opens his mouth to speak but the beeping on his belt speaks for him. When he checks his pager, everything seems to crash. Every worry, every problem, everything that was once bliss has shattered all by one small page that forces him to leave the romantic confines of his dinner date and go to work.

"Shit," he hisses.

"Is everything okay?" She asks. The concerned look on her face makes him feel even worse.

"Yeah, well, no. I'm being called into work. I'm really sorry."

"No, no, I understand." She forces a smile. "Raincheck on dessert?"

He tries to force a smile - it only turns into a disappointed lopsided grin.

"Raincheck."

Within twenty seconds, he's on his feet and out of the door. Olivia looks at the empty table, the empty kitchen, and then the empty house.

Everything suddenly becomes a little cold.

She elicits a sigh and stands. Before clearing the table, she blows out the candle in one, small, breath. She wants to laugh at herself for feeling this way – hiding her feelings like she's in high school. She wants to cry for this romantic night. She does neither. She stares down into the flood of soapy water while she thinks of how much she thinks about Mark. The thoughts keep coming and coming while she absentmindedly cleans his kitchen.

Once her hands are dry, everything is spotless, and the music has been turned down a bit, Olivia falls back on her makeshift bed and closes her eyes. Within minutes, she's asleep.

Four hours after his sudden exit, Mark comes back to find everything back to normal. As if this whole evening didn't happen. But it did. There was chemistry and conversation and fireworks. There were feelings there that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

It did happen.

He looks across the room and his eyes rest on her sleeping figure. She's still dressed in the same attire she wore when she had dinner with him.

She proves that tonight happened.

He could kiss her. He would kiss her. But he doesn't. He just walks past her into his bedroom.

Just like this night never happened.


	6. Her Intention

**Chapter Six: Her Intention**

She has held babies before but not like this. Olivia's brown eyes travel over Sofia's little frame as she rocks her in her arms, her world finally at ease. Very tiny fingers. Such warm little hands. Even at a growing twelve weeks, her small hand can barely fit around Olivia's much bigger index finger. The brunette watches intently with soft eyes. She bends her finger, just a little bit, and listens as the soft coos escape from the sleepy mouth. Her lips curve into a gentle smile while she listens to this certain type of music she yearns to call her own. Her smile grows while the infant observes her through her own fatigued, chocolate, eyes. Olivia looks over at Mark, only to see that he is already looking at her with a smile on his face. Callie isn't too far away, standing next to Mark with her own grin. Callie's arrival is Olivia's notice that her time with Sofia is up.

"Don't get attached," his husky voice speaks into her ear while she walks past him to give Callie her daughter. The surgeon crosses his arms across his chest while his eyes follow her figure. He watches her hips sway as she approaches Callie and sets little Sofia back into her mother's arms.

"I'm not," Olivia protests. She moves her body behind a vacant chair, tapping her fingers against the wood as her eyes stay glued to Sofia while she listens to Mark and Callie have a short conversation. She isn't listening much, but she hears them mention her name a few times. Perhaps they're mocking for her being with Sofia for over two hours.

Even though she works long hours and is dedicated to her job, Olivia would love nothing more than to give that up for the family she has always wanted. The detective hopes that she will eventually get it. She has to. She needs something else to live for aside from the strangers she gives voices to everyday. Her partner has a family. What makes her so ineligible to get what he has?

It isn't awkward being with Mark anymore. This trip quickly became at ease knowing that she was called for something other than to live with a man she once disrespected. Once everything settled down, they had more to in common than an injured friend and a rocky relationship. Callie is a key components in all of this. Arizona called Olivia to come out here but Callie urged Olivia to stay with him. Maybe she knew Mark was lonely and thought it was a good idea to house them together, temporarily. Maybe she wanted them to get together even though she knew their history from before. Maybe she wanted Mark to be happy too. It's been a long road for both of them and knowing that nothing had come out of it yet, was a terrible waste indeed.

If this was all part of a scheme Callie had planned, then it's working.

"I'll come by tomorrow morning, okay?" Olivia says, as she looks over at Mark as he grabs his coat and then her coat to hand to her.

In mid nod, Callie's eyes drop to Olivia's shirt then back up to her. Her smile turns into a sly, crooked, grin and her eyebrow rises, "Okay," she says in a heightened tone of voice. The same tone she uses when she figures something is up.

Olivia has never worn shirts that reveal a lot of cleavage. She didn't think about whether or not she owned any until Mark mentioned earlier that they were going to go to the bar. Then, even though she couldn't go, Addison suggested it would be a fun experience and it would help her loosen up after everything that has happened. Olivia never expected to go to a bar when she first arrived in Seattle. Actually, she never expected to stay long enough to actually have time to go to leisure spots like a bar. So, she turned to buying a bar appropriate shirt at the last minute.

It is Mark, Olivia, Derek, Meredith, Christina, Owen, and April at the bar. It feels like an odd mix to have two married couples and two people who don't know what they are and then add April into the awkwardness of it all. She is the ice breaker, really. If things don't work out with Mark by the nights end, April will be there to take home. It is understandable why people call April the runt of the bunch. She is younger than all of them and still has the drive and dedication they had all lost during their residency. Even while intoxicated, she is determined to keep the conversation alive while everybody else sits in silence after a long day.

"You...You see that guy over there? I l-like him. I like him because he's...pretty. He doesn't know that yet, though," the redhead blurts out. It is obvious that she isn't a drinker like the rest of them.

Olivia sympathizes with April in a way because she was once that girl that everyone laughed at in the academy, so when she sees Mark chuckle, she hits him hard in the arm. "Come on, Liv. Like you didn't expect her to say something like that." He says in a hushed tone. She does get a sort of twisted satisfaction knowing that she isn't the one on people's minds at the moment but not at someone else's expense.

After Meredith helps April out of her chair and has her sit by the bartender to watch her, Christina takes a sip from her drink and stands from her bar stool, "Olivia...pool?" She challenges as she walks over to the empty pool table and grabs two sticks. Olivia looks over at Mark with a smile as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Is it normal to be turned on like this?" Mark mentions as he briefly looks to his best friend for guidance. Derek takes a long sip of his scotch, chuckles to himself, stands, and joins Meredith at the bar.

Olivia rubs the chalk over the tip of the pool cue as Christina racked the balls, making Olivia the first to hit. What Christina does is the least of Mark's concern. His eyes remain glued on Olivia. Her body moves with confidence as she stands in front of Mark, but a few feet away. He eyes her slightly parted legs as she focuses on the game and how she bends over as if to test the man watching her. Olivia has only played pool once or twice before and was never a pro at it. She never cared and still isn't worried about her performance. Mark is what she's trying to succeed in, not pool. Mark's eyes dangle to her ass, his arms crossing tighter and a smirk spreading across his face, "She's such a fucking tease," he mentally groans as he gets up.

He presses his body into hers and murmurs in her ear, "Are you ready for a real game?"

Her eyebrow raises and she turns to him, smiling an eager smile. Mark walks over to Christina, replacing her as Olivia's pool opponent. While he applies chalk to the end of his cue, Olivia speaks up, "Let's bet on it."

Mark looks up, his eyes flicker with interest beneath the dim lights, "Okay, what do you get if you win?"

"Your bed. Without you in it," Olivia says as she walks around the table.

He hesitates. This woman is going to be the death of him, "Deal." He looks straight into her eyes, "If I win, I get to kiss you."

Olivia blinks once, shocked that he would suggest something so bluntly, yet she smiles coyly, "Fine."

Mark looks over at Olivia with an evil grin. He isn't focused on winning the game because he knows his skill will come naturally. He doesn't mean to be cocky or anything, he is just an amazing pool player. It comes from playing with Derek during the days of their bachelorhood. Nothing has really changed, just that his best friend has married. Twice. He finds his eyes wandering to the loose fabric that exposes Olivia's cleavage. As she leans forward a bit, he notices her creamy, olive colored skin that is being caressed by the filaments of something red. The color reminds him of the purest flame. The mere sight of her soft and vulnerable flesh provokes something in him, something that he does and does not like. Olivia's midnight colored gaze focuses on his face. She notices what he is looking at but doesn't care. In fact, she likes that he's watching.

"I'm up here," she purrs, moving her fingers against his chin to make him look at her. Her hands move over the soft fabric of her shirt, pulling it up to tease him.

He feels a slight twitch in his hand. His body is begging his mind to cooperate. Just one touch is all it takes. One touch along her smooth curves, up to her full and firm breasts in a manner that would make her want him just as much as he wants her. It wouldn't matter who is watching or that they're in a room full of people. He wants to hear her whisper his name in his ear while his fingers explore the unknown geographies of her body. He wants Olivia. He wants her in more ways than just one and to have her right there would be more than anything he has ever dreamed of.

"Tongue-tied?" She finally musters up, seeing his eyes move directly to hers and then follow it with a smirk, "You will be by the end of the night."

He presses his body against the edge of the green felted table with his stick lined up with the balls. "Stripes," he calls out as his fingers make their mark on the stick, holding it with a tight grip as the white ball shoots across the table, breaking the eight pack into singles.

Olivia watches the man before her. He is sexy and he obviously using it to his advantage. She watches as he gets up from the table after he makes two holes with one shot. He is already in the lead and she hasn't even played yet. They both ignore the many pairs of eyes watching their every move. No one else in the bar matters, it is just the two of them.

His body moves slowly up from the table, letting her eyes take every second to admire his build. The moment he turns to look at her, she looks away.

"Olivia," he seemingly shouts loud enough to fight the music. When she looks up, she swears that he's pulling off his shirt and it makes her practically want to take him right there. "Mark, what the hell are you-" she stops when she feels his arms wrap around her waist and pull her up onto the edge of the pool table behind her. Her legs dangle for a moment before she gets the hint to wrap them around his waist.

"Mark," she whispers as she feels his warm lips against the cold skin on her neck. For a moment, she closes her eyes and feels him push her back on the hard table while his hand unbuttons her jeans and pulls down the zipper, "Fuck, Olivia, I need you."

"Olivia, it's your turn," she hears as she looks up. It was just a daydream, just something she desires. He still has his shirt on and he's made three more moves while she was thinking of him.

As the game comes close to an end, Mark has the winning title right in the palm of his hand. When he calls out to Olivia, "Eight ball, corner left pocket," his smile is proud. It's obvious he's won and he expects her to admit it. Olivia smiles seductively and sets her pool stick against the table. Slowly, she walks behind him and he feels her brush up against him. The irresistible scent of her perfume infiltrates his nose and her smooth, alluring, voice enters his ear.

"Do you think you can handle me the same way you handled the game?"

Jolts of excitement run up his spine. He hurriedly sets his pool cue elsewhere and he turns around to face Olivia. Desire is the only thing he can see in her eyes. The hunger grows more and more in them. His arm coils around her slender waist and he pulls her against him. His heart races, he grows more and more anxious to feel her soft lips against his. He's waited years for this very moment. His eyes close and he moves toward her. People are watching. It seems like all eyes are on them. His fingertips brush along her warm cheek and embed themselves in her silky hair.

He never imagined that he would finally have Olivia Benson in his arms. All this time, he's been patient and he's been compliant. He's kept his hands to himself despite how hard it has been. Tonight, she's brought the animal out that's been caged in for so long.

As if on cue, an unwelcomed vibration breaks the intimacy between them. It halts possibly the most perfect moment that could ever be experienced. He's so close to her lips; centimeters away. He would've felt that passion if she hadn't turned her head towards her phone. She looks at the caller and answers it in an instant.

"Yes, Captain?" she says over the loud bustle of the bar. In one quick second, she slips away from his grasp and exits the pub to continue her conversation.

He watches her disappear out into the night. She doesn't even stand in front of the establishment. Everything seems to shatter, everything that was once perfect is now gone. Then, he feels his own phone vibrate in his pocket. Mark takes the opportunity to follow Olivia's path outside.

"Hello?" His eyes frantically search down the poorly lit street. He sees her silhouette leaning against a lamp post, her hand runs through her hair with distress. He looks harder and tries to listen to her faint conversation over the person on the other line.

"Mark?"

He blinks, forgetting he's even on the phone, "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I'm being discharged, Miranda said we can go home! Hurry back!" He can tell Callie's smiling just by the tone of her voice.

He doesn't know why he feels a twinge of disappointment. He should be over the moon that Callie and Sofia are leaving the hospital perfectly healthy. At the same time, his night with Olivia has come to an end. Mark looks over his shoulder and into the bar window to see his friends collect their things and prepare to leave. His eyes wander to Olivia, making her way back inside and receiving the same news he had just received. She doesn't look very happy until Derek tells her about Callie. Upon hearing the news, she smiles. Even though it's a little difficult to see, Mark can tell there's something wrong. He doesn't bring it to her attention when he rejoins his friends, he doesn't ask her about it as they all gather around and wait for Sofia to successfully sit in a car seat, and he doesn't inquire while they both stand in silence in front of his car as they wait for Callie and Arizona to come out of the hospital.

Olivia was told that tonight is one of those rare Seattle nights. One that is cloud free with the occasional cool breeze. A small rush of wind brushes against her cheek while she stands next to Mark. She looks at him. He looks eager, excited, and anxious for Callie's long road to recovery to finally come to an end. She doesn't say anything but she wonders what is going on through his mind.

"Here she comes." Mark breathes.

She takes her gaze away from him and towards the happy mother being wheeled out by one of the hospital nurses. She smiles a smile of success, joy, and excitement. With Arizona right by her side and Sofia in her arms, nothing else seems to matter. She's longed to feel that. That sense of bliss and euphoria every new mother and wife feels and behind the sincere happiness Olivia feels for Callie, there's a strong envy that's been hiding for so long. She knows how to keep it tucked away but that doesn't mean shes unaware it's there. That disgusting envy remains pushed back while the whole car is filled with joyous conversation, laughter, and the sounds of an infant. If anything, she could never be jealous of the relationship that Mark and Callie have because it is understood to never cross that line again. It is different now. Callie has Arizona and Mark - he wants Olivia.

Mark has been patient all this time. He's been compliant. A little longer won't hurt him much.


	7. C'est La Vie

**Author's Note: I want to give a big, big, big thanks to my best friend, Faith! She not only helped me write this chapter but the last chapter as well. Thank you, beautiful! **

**Chapter Seven: C'est La Vie**

Her gaze travels around the room as her head rests against her palm. She looks around at all of the little things that she glanced over when she first arrived to Seattle. Of course it was odd seeing Mark for the first time in a while, but they put their petty differences aside when they realized there were lives on the line. It didn't hurt that the detective loved being around babies either. He had shown her a little bit of Seattle but never the details around his apartment. She reaches over and increases the soothing and seductive melodies that escape the stereo. Her eyes glue themselves to the picture of Sofia that April took the first time she sat in a car seat and it makes Olivia's strong heart fall weak. Mark's gaze clings to Olivia sitting just a few feet away, looking at the single picture of Sofia while holding her stomach. He figures it must be a subconscious reflex because she had mentioned that she doesn't have any children.

"Olivia?" She hears. Her eyes tear away from the picture and turn to where the voice is calling from. The kitchen. She pulls her hand away and reaches for the glass of white wine that he had poured earlier. "What's it like?" She asks, getting up from the, now warm, seat on the couch to sit beside Mark. Her bare feet are cold against the floor but she tries to ignore it. Mark's new talent had become cooking and it works out for the both of them considering that she doesn't know much about it. The most she had ever done was take something out of a bag. Terrible but also the life of a Special Victims Unit Detective. Mark is adorable though - when he isn't a player.

Mark looks over at her sitting close by, watching her eyes follow his hands as he plays with the knife, cutting fast. It's obvious that their relationship has changed in the time Olivia has been here, especially with Elliot two thousand miles away. Backing away, he motions for her to get up. Once she does, she follows his movements and stands in front of him. His body wraps around her as he places the knife in her hands.

"Being a father?" He responds with a smile. When she looks back at him with an eyebrow raised, the smile never leaves his lips, "I saw you looking at the picture I have over there." She turns her head away and blushes as she feels his hands slide over hers, causing chills to run down her spine.

He feels like everything she had imagined he would. Strong. Warm. Loving. As his arms wrap around hers, she takes in a deep breath, immersing herself in the scent of his cologne while he glides her fingers in the right position. "It's amazing," she hears him whisper in her ear. Olivia lets him press her hand down, cutting the carrot in thin slices. "You always see people with children and you think that's enough until you come home to an empty apartment with no wife or child," he continues. She licks her lips before turning to Mark. She feels his hands grip tighter to hers, making her heart beat faster.

Her grip on the knife loosens as she turns her head away and moves out from in front of him. "Sofia's a lucky little girl," Olivia says while she tries to get her thoughts back in order.

Mark follows her to the couch after he put all the vegetables in the pot, leaving them to simmer together. His choice of a meal is beef stew because it gives them time to talk while it cooks on its own. She sits down first, allowing himself to do the same. He looks over to the woman beside him, who is looking down at her glass with a little frown. She is perfect, everything he has always wanted. Mark knows she's dedicated to saving other people and he loves that about her, more than anything.

There are so many things that he wants to say to her, especially when her big brown eyes look up at him and asks for more wine. Everything seems casual, like they are a couple just enjoying a dinner together that they helped each other make. He wants to create more things with her. He wants a bigger family. He wants Olivia. What freezes him is reality. They can't have everything, especially if she doesn't feel the same way. Mark wants to know more than anything but as he reaches for the wine, he sees something peeking from behind the wine bottle. He moves the bottle aside and examines the plane ticket. A single ticket back to New York City. Olivia looks up at Mark when she doesn't hear any movement from him. All she sees is a blank stare at the plane ticket she had stupidly left out.

"You're leaving," he mutters. He finally pulls his stare away from the ticket to look at her face, "Tomorrow morning."

Olivia bites the inside of her cheek hard and lets out a sigh when she releases, "God, you weren't supposed to see that yet." A strange sense of relief rushes through her. It's not one she's proud of but it's better for her that he found out this way rather than conjuring up a way to tell him.

"Were you even going to mention that you were leaving anytime soon? Or were you going to trick me into driving you to the airport?" His voice sounds angry but his body language is calm.

"Before I came, I told you that I was only staying until Callie got better." Her eyes narrowed in on him as she watched his movements closely, "Mark, I have a life in New York. I took this extra time to make sure that you'd be okay before I left. I didn't want you to be alone while Callie was still in the hospital," she finishes, her words barely above a whisper.

Mark pulls himself off the couch and back into the kitchen, stirring the contents that are in the pot rigorously. "Did you think about what would happen after you left? Where I would be?" She too stands up, but this time not moving her body. "Of course I did. You'd focus on your family. We went from hating each other to being...I don't even know what we are." Olivia moves her feet gracefully across the floor, taking his arm and holding it still. "Did it ever occur to you that you could be my family too, Olivia?" he retaliates, yanking his arm from her grasp. She watches his grip tighten on the wooden spoon and his jaw clench while he thinks of what else to say, "That over these last few weeks, that you became more than just a house guest to me?" He looks up at her, letting her into his life a little more. He takes the pot off the stove and sets it on the counter, his anger only rising every passing second.

"What about Elliot? Are you going back because of him? Because you love him? I noticed how close you two were last time you came," He says in a tone of voice that is low enough to show his irritation and hesitancy of saying it but loud enough for her to hear. There is no doubt that Olivia is attracted to her partner back in New York but that's a different ball game. He's married and has five kids with his high school sweetheart. She would never, or even attempt to, break that. Especially not for her own gain.

"Fuck you," She finds herself quickly blurting out. Her only fault is that she doesn't say she is sorry. But she isn't. Later she knows she will be, but not now. "You have no idea what my life is like and frankly, I had no idea of yours until Arizona called me about Callie. You have no right to judge me," she says, turning her back to him. Looking down at the island in the middle of the kitchen, she grabs her ticket and then proceeds to the living room.

He turns to face her, crossing his arms over his chest while he watches her put her coat on, covering her perfect silhouette.

His voice grew angrier as he started to yell, "You never answered my question, Olivia!" he shouts until she looks in his direction. "Do you love him?"

The truth is, Olivia thought she could love Elliot, but then she got to know Mark. And now it comes back down to the ticket or her feelings. Which one is she willing to risk? A life she knows for a life she could grow to love. Olivia turns her body around, wrapping a scarf around her neck before she grabs a pen and the napkin her wine glass sat upon.

She walks into the kitchen, leaving her hand written note on the island before she turns her on her heel, "I'm going to go find a hotel, something I should have done in the first place. Maybe if things cool off we can go to breakfast or something but I need time away from you. We both need it," Her fingers reach for the door, pulling it open before she looks back at him. She knows what he wants but she needs him to say it. "My life is in New York and your life is in Seattle," she says in a whisper. "What did you think was going to happen? That something good would come out of this?" After grabbing her phone, Olivia slides out the doorway and into the hall. Her body falls limp against the concrete wall as she waits to see if he would come after her.

He doesn't.

"Never as much as I'll love you," she replays in her memory, wishing she had said it instead of writing it on a napkin. It's a cheesy mistake. Olivia feels the ticket that is placed in her pocket and sighs. She is cautious and doesn't want to lose it within her baggage. What she doesn't realize, is that she is losing something much greater.


	8. Tear

**Chapter Eight: Tear**

She stares up at the dark ceiling while the thousands of tiny raindrops pound against the hotel window. The room is cold and she tries to block out the screaming of the drunken party goers that are outside. She wishes she could be in some lush hotel for the night but finding this one was hard enough. Her eyes slowly fall on the clock, it's well past two in the morning. Her flight is in four hours, which means she might as well get up now and get ready. A soft sigh escapes her lips as the chill runs through her. She brings the blankets closer to her but it doesn't help much. The image of Mark's comforting living room fills her mind. She closes her eyes and lets her mind wander.

She sees herself reclined on his couch, wrapped in a soft blanket. Then Mark approaches her with a glass of red wine. He sits behind her so she could rest against his strong chest. The delicious flavor of the wine runs down her throat smoothly. She feels him lean over to her so his lips are barely brushing her ear. He whispers something, something she can't make out but the sound of his voice sends chills up her spine. She can smell the wine on his breath. He kisses her neck while his hands explore her body.

And with a loud bang, it all ends.

Her eyes open suddenly to loud chatter and obnoxious laughter. Olivia closes her eyes again and desperately wishes to return to where she once was. With another exasperated sigh, she sits up and heads to the shower - hoping it'll provide her with at least warm water.

Mark sits on the edge of his bed with his cell phone in one hand and Olivia's note in the other. He stares at the memorized number on his screen. All he has to do is press "call" and apologize. He has to tell her everything he was unable to tell her back at his apartment. That, behind his anger, was something he was desperate to reveal to her. He wanted to tell her how much he hates seeing her upset and he didn't mean any of the things he said. How she is everything he needs. He wants to confess how he feels about her, how he's always felt about her, how he's felt since he first saw her.

But he doesn't.

Mark tosses his phone on his pillow, idly runs his hands over his face and stares out the window. The streetlamps give him a better view of the rain and he wonders about her. A twinge of fear runs through him at the thought of her being stuck in the rain. She was unable to get a hotel when she first got here, maybe she had the same problem. Slowly he unfolds the napkin that she wrote on and reads it once, then twice.

When she first left it on the kitchen counter, he was too angry to even look at it and when he finally brought himself to read her final words, she was already gone. He found himself standing in the middle of the hallway, looking like a confused fool, thinking of where to start looking for her. He heard the door open behind him and turned to see Callie joining him in the hall.

"Mark? We heard you guys yelling. Is everything okay?"

His hand was placed over his forehead and he looked at her with wide eyes, "She's gone, Callie. I made her leave."

Callie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Mark, she had to go home. You didn't do anything."

"You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"She told us that she was going to tell you tonight."

His hands clenched into fists and he retreated back into his apartment to rid himself of the evening wear he spent hours picking out to impress Olivia. He quickly slipped on a pair of sweatpants and sat on the edge of his bed, the spot where he would stay for the next two hours. The very spot where he would dial Olivia's number more than a dozen times but never call it.

He replays the argument with her over again. He hears the pain that was in her voice - she tries to hide it but it's clear. He sees the tears that bead in the corner of her eyes, how she tries to hold them back but fails and lets a few of them slip down her cheek. She wipes them away, thinking he didn't see it but he did. He hears his front door open but doesn't move. He finally turns around, hoping to see Olivia appear in the doorway of his bedroom. Hoping that she would whisper something, or nothing at all, and just climb into bed with him. A new wave of disappointment washes over him when he hears Callie's voice calling for him.

He doesn't return the greeting, only groggily asks, "What time is it?"

Callie sits next to him on the edge of the bed, "It's seven thirty. Have you been awake all night?"

He slowly nods. His eyes are bloodshot from tears of guilt and fatigue. He refuses to sleep, though. Mark knows that if he does fall asleep, he'll only dream about her. Mark stands and reaches for the nearest shirt - a plain white t-shirt that he wore the other day. For a second, Mark forgets that Callie is still sitting on his bed, looking at him with eyes full of curiosity. It's not until he grabs his keys that she speaks up.

"Mark, where are you going?"

"Airport. To find Olivia."

She bites her lip and tries to think of a quick yet painless way to tell him. She has to tell him before he drives out to the airport for nothing.

"Her flight was for six. She left an hour and a half ago, Mark." She doesn't take her gaze off of him, "I'm sorry."

He tosses his keys on his dresser and disappears into the bathroom. Callie hears the shower turn on and doesn't see him until work later that morning.

When she returns to New York, Olivia rushes through the baggage claim, not caring who she ran into or who ran into her. She ignores the apologies, the swears, anything that is said to her. As soon as she gets outside, she's attacked with more rain. Olivia sighs while she climbs into the cab. Just what she needs, more rain and in some twisted way, it reminds her of Mark. It's like she had a second life back in Seattle and she has to leave it forever. As the cab moves in silence, she stares down at her phone, tempted to dial Mark's number just to hear his voice again. She stops herself and shoves her phone in her pocket. Hearing him will not only make her regret leaving, but coming in the first place. She rests her head against the cold taxicab window and watches the raindrops race down the glass.

Her apartment is cold, dark, and unwelcoming when she returns. It doesn't feel like hers as she first steps in. The loneliness surrounds her instantly.

_This is my home. It has always been my home. It will always be my home._


	9. Unbearable

**Chapter Nine: Unbearable **

Mark's blue eyes pierce the ceiling. His arms are crossed behind his head and he shifts further underneath his sheets. Another morning where he doesn't feel like himself; where he feels like he's done something wrong. That's when the blonde rolls over and rests her head on his chest. She smiles into his skin and he can feel her bare chest against his side. But he doesn't wrap his arm around her, he doesn't look down at her, he doesn't even say anything to her. The crestfallen feeling grows inside of him like he's committed the worst deed humanely possible. He only slept with a girl. He's slept with many girls in his lifetime and he's never felt like this. Since he became a household of one again, he's had plenty of girls over. Each of them came with a special talent that would leave any guy breathless. Although, he would always wake up with this feeling in the pit of his stomach, a neutral look on his face, and a sense of carelessness on whether the sex was good or not. It's like he's sleeping around to forget, to lose something he can't seem to shake, only to wake up feeling ashamed.

The woman, whose name he cannot recall, says something. He looks down at her and she meets his gaze with her crystal blue eyes. He's seen those eyes many times before. She's from Radiology. They've exchanged multiple glances and smiles. He knows she used to be someone he once strived to have this moment with. She was the type to play hard to get but he was the type to forget someone if he had to try too hard. He liked things instantly. He doesn't feel victorious though. He still feels like he's running in a race that doesn't look like he'll win.

"Did you hear me?" Her soft voice asks.

He raises his eyebrows, needing her to repeat it.

"We have a few hours until work. We could..." Her voice trails off and one corner of her lips curves in a suggestive manner, "We could do it again."

The suggestion makes him grimace a little but she fails to notice. He sits up and breaks their eye contact.

"Actually," he begins and gets out of bed, "There are a few things I need to get done before work. Sorry."

His apology was barely half-hearted and in a low mumble while he pulls a shirt over his head. She tells him she understands in a sincere tone of voice which makes him feel even worse. He was hoping she'd be mad or offended but she sounded hopeful. Like they were going to do this again. Mark exhales and turns to see her getting dressed. The two walk to his front door without any words. This is not like him. This is not like him at all.

"But," he begins when she's about to turn the doorknob. She turns and looks at him with big blue eyes. He inhales, "I'm free tonight if you, you know, want to get dinner or something."

She grins excitedly and lets out a chipper, "Yeah!"

As he watches her walk down to the elevator, he begins to believe that he just made a huge mistake. He knows that he can't push away what he knows he wants with people who want him. But he can sure as hell try. The door across from him opens and Callie steps out, immediately eyeing the one night stand getting on the elevator. She gently rubs Sofia's back as she takes her place next to Mark.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't think that there's anything wrong with this? Sleeping with a different girl almost every night? It's a pathetic attempt to try and forget Olivia, I'll tell you that."

"I'm over Olivia." Saying this makes him feel like a teenage boy. Lying about it makes him feel even more immature, "She didn't want to trust me and that's the end of it."

"You sure about that, Mark? Because, right now, you're the one with the trust issues."

"What are you talking about?"

"What I'm saying is that you obviously still love her but you're not doing anything about it. Replacing her won't help."

Mark looks down at her. He knows she's right. He doesn't want to admit it to her or to himself. He watches Callie lightly bounce Sofia in her arms and says, "I've got to get ready for work. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

><p>Ally.<p>

Her name is Ally and she works in Radiology everyday from eight until five. He's seen her at the coffee cart most days and their conversation escalated over time since Olivia left. Mark remembered all of this on his way to work and it makes him feel better now that he's taking this woman to dinner in a few hours. Just like when they first met, Mark spots Ally standing at the cart, waiting for her order.

"Hey," he says. She turns around and smiles brightly, "I just wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier. It's been a rough couple of weeks but I promise I'll make it up to you tonight."

Her smile widens, "You better," she teases and pokes him, "I'm holding you to that."

"Don't worry," he replies and kisses her cheek, "We have reservations at seven and I would dress up."

"And after?" She asks suggestively, looking directly into his eyes. She bites her lip, waiting for a specific answer.

"That's the surprise." He winks at her right as she turns around to take her coffee. She smiles once more and walks on.

He orders his cup of coffee and while he waits, his phone rings. Mark brings it to his ear and before he could say anything, he hears Callie's voice on the other line.

"I have an idea. You should call Olivia."

Mark exhales and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Callie, let's just leave it alone for a while, okay?"

"But why? You two were so perfect. Besides, I heard Ally isn't the most innocent little girl, anyway."

"Callie-

"Fine, fine, I'll drop it. But all I'm saying is that you should just give her a call. I think you're making a mistake, Mark, I really do."

After a quick goodbye, they hang up. He isn't going to let this ruin his evening but he can't help but wonder what Olivia is doing right at this very moment - something he's been wondering for a while even when he doesn't want to. As much as Mark tries to force himself to completely forget Olivia, the occasional reminder comes up. Now that Callie has mentioned her, he can't stop thinking about her. Is she going about her day as if none of this happened or is she desperately trying to forget him too? Mark's thoughts are interrupted when his coffee is placed in front of him. Then he remembers, it was Olivia's choice to walk out. This was all her choice. He tries to focus his thoughts on his date tonight - something that he won't mess up.

* * *

><p>"How's your baby girl? Everybody's been asking about her," Ally mentions as he pushes her chair further in once she sits down.<p>

"Healthy, happy, everything a father could ask for." Mark takes his own seat and smiles. She looks so different from when he sees her at work or in his bed. Her golden hair is pinned up neatly in a bun and the navy blue dress compliments her nicely. Mark would be lying if he said she doesn't attract him a little bit.

"Talk about a miracle baby." She sips from her glass of water and then looks up at him, "Would you want your own child?"

Mark furrows his eyebrows, "What do you mean? She is my child."

"You know what I mean," she replies.

"You mean a child that I don't have to share?"

She nods.

He thinks about it. Him having a wife and child to come home to everyday. He often imagines himself opening the door to see a tiny body running up to him and hugging his leg. Whether it was a boy or a girl, it didn't matter. He'd say hello to the small child and then look up to see his beautiful wife standing there, waiting for her turn to be greeted. No matter how long they've been married, she would look just as beautiful as the day he met her. She would have a smile that would light up a whole room, a melodious voice, sparkling brown eyes, and silky brown hair.

Mark blinks out of his daydream and his heart begins to race at the fact that he was thinking about Olivia over anybody else. Instantly, he becomes guilt ridden but quickly smiles, telling himself that it won't happen again.

"Sofia's perfect," he simply tells her and the waiter approached their table to take their order.

"May I get you started on a glass of wine?" The waiter asks and Mark looks down at the wine menu.

The first thing he spots is the same type of Pinot Noir he served Olivia the first time they had dinner together. Without hesitation, he orders a bottle. His mind wanders back to that amazing night. She told him everything that evening - where she lived, what New York was like, everything. Until it was interrupted. He was positive he was going to kiss her that night. They still never shared the dessert he had planned.

"Are you alright, Mark?" Ally says. He notices she's halfway through her glass of wine while he still hasn't touched his.

"Yeah, sorry." He finally takes a sip from his glass and tells himself to only focus on the girl across from him, to stop getting distracted and to move on.

"So tell me about this surprise." Her voice is low and seductive, much like it was earlier.

Mark forces a smile, "Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. You'll just have to wait."

"I'm not the most patient person."

"It'll be worth the wait; I promise." He winks at her and sips his wine once more. Then, he notices something over her shoulder. A couple sitting in the corner of the restaurant in a semi circle booth. They're sitting close together and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box. The man opens it and much to his girlfriend's surprise, a shiny wedding ring appears. Mark is fixated on this couple, unable to look away. The woman cups her hands over her mouth and tears collect in her eyes. She nods and the two embrace, both smiling, both happy. Mark finally brings himself to look back at Ally but with a strong sense of loneliness. He wishes that he was in that couples' place instead of fooling himself.

He told himself he will not ruin this night.

"You know what?" Mark says and drinks down the rest of his wine, "How about we just leave now?

Ally's eyes and smile brighten at the suggestion and she agrees, nearly jumping out of her seat. Mark throws some money on the table and places his hand on Ally's lower back and escorts her out of the restaurant.

He desperately tries to feel the excitement she's feeling when they enter her apartment. Mark tries to find the thrill as she runs her hands up and down his body. She's doing everything right but nothing about this feels right. Mark tries to defer the uncomfortable feelings and try to enjoy him slowly unzipping her dress but knowing that this is not Olivia makes him reluctant.

Finally, he breaks away from Ally's caress and says, "I'm sorry, Ally. I thought this was what I wanted but it's not and I can't keep doing this. I'm really sorry."

She looks at him with bewilderment and watches as he collects his things. He doesn't look back when he leaves her home even though he knows he'll have to pay for it when he goes back to work. He doesn't care about that right now. He cares more about getting home.

As soon as Mark pushes past his front door, he tosses his jacket over the back of the nearest chair and takes a seat on the couch. He selects Olivia's number on his phone and looks at it for a while, making sure that this is something he wants to do for sure. He releases the breath he has been holding for the past couple of seconds and dials the number. A combination of disappointment and relief wash through him when he hears her voicemail. Mark tells himself not to back out now and to leave a message.

After the cue, Mark begins.

"Hey Olivia, it's me..."


End file.
